like... WHOA.
anyway, haven't updated this space for a lonnnnng time!
actually, most of posts will be directed towards my lj, which is here.
yup, so go there and make yourself comfortable! chiao!
poetic flower sang its prose
@ 10:42 PM
....................
the fact is that i post more on my lj than my blog now. poor little blog. maybe its a temporary fettish and i'll get over it one day! yes yes yes!
>
bw was fun. rather self-esteem grinding. i cannot drop my jaw, let alone sing. and i pitched terribly with a falsetto [is that how you spell it?] voice. how embarrassing. and we did this whole big tableaux [?], where we were supposed to create a character and show a series of pictures to show the character's emotions etc.
i was the drunk father who beats up his daughter [main character]. i balance a bottle in my left hand, and point rather drunkedly at Fo with my right hand, screaming words such as "OI! COME BACK HERE! I'M GONNA BASH YOU UP!" and fo will scream and shudder and say things like "oh woe why does my father keep on beating me." and britt went "i can only drown my sorrows in this cello!" and zhi hui said "why can't i do this assignment?!" and sarah lek says, slowly, empathetically, " I .... must .... run ...."
jaffar [?] called me, amanda utami, britt, jason, jaime and Fo. told us that we were going to become "principal singers".
1. i was freaked. principal singers??
2. I can sing???
3. what???
4. immediate reaction = NO. HE'S LYING.
5. ask jaffar.
6. jaffar said that he's not lying and yes he thinks my voice can take it.
7. i stare at him. 0.o"
8. jason starts silently screaming and mouthing the words "but you want to be stage manager" to me. i think she's trying to get me to not be one of the singers. i dunno why. probably so she has less competition.
9. i told jaffar that i wanted to do backstage.
10. he said that since i was so adamant about it, he could do nothing but release me.
11. i thought about it. i asked claire. i asked xinyi. i asked qian.
12. they all think that i should go for it.
13. what should i do? i don't mind doing either. and i have a sort of emotional connection with being upstage and backstage. but i told jaffar that i don't want to sing already. can i go back to tell him that i want to sing?
14. can i sing? i doubt it.
so i need everybody's nice nice help to help me make a nice nice decision. should i do upstage or backstage. please be reminded that if i do upstage its not certain that i'll get a huge huge role. and if i do backstage i wanna be stage manager. i won't settle for anything less. how? which one do you think suits me best?
and don't give me that "whatever you want". i've heard it enough, and i'm really confused.
>
Science and chinese test tomorrow. hm.
SRM is funkay. somehow, theres alot to study, but it seems like very little. anyway.
Chinese is ok lah. i've been studying it for 8-odd years. shouldn't be any different no, right?
Science!
- Heredity
- Puberty
- Anatomy
- Menstrual Cycle
- Fertilistion & development
- Contraception
- Facilitated reproduction
- STDs
poetic flower sang its prose
@ 10:30 PM
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poetic flower sang its prose
@ 8:07 PM
i just ate alot of chocolate. and drank a cup of coke. i feel [and am]fat. i have a great urge to go downstairs to play badminton but NO ONE WILL PLAY WITH ME. i don't care. chris, whenever you read this, and if you are free, you are to walk the measly 100 meters, knock on my door, and play badminton with me. even if its like, 2 in the morning. as long as there's badminton to be played, there will always be an enthu and ready-to-go mandy, badminton racket in hand.
i'm supposed to be workinggg. like, history source-based? then i can go study! and i forgot, i have IRS to do too. sigh.
BUT ALL I WANNA DO IS GO PLAY BADMINTON!
the chocolate in the box all melted, and then it got solid again. so there's this whole mess of chocolate in the box. i have to use a butter knife to chisel the chocolate. but its sort of cool, chisel-ing the chocolate with a butter knife. yum.
one day, i want to go for a picnic in an absolutely no-body-around place. then we can have a nice red checkered picnic mat [like those on tv] and a rattan picnic basket [like those on tv]. when you open the lid, you see nice chocolate cakes and little triangle sandwiches and bottles of lemonade [like those on tv]. and you'll probably be sitting under a nice, big, leafy tree[like those on tv]. and you'll eat with some random very cute man with blonde hair. you'll both be clothed in Country Road. everything you have, including the red checkered picnicmat,will be from country road! and the guy will have a country road sweater draped over his shoulders (but not tied, just hanging loose). the sweater would probably be light blue. and he'llbe wearing a polo shirt with khaki pants. the sweater is just an extra accessory because since its so BLARDIE HOT you wouldn't be needing a sweater but since sweaters make people look good, thats what its there for.
oh, the futile imagination of me.
sometimes i blog on my lj but i forget to copy-and-paste here, so whoever's reading this,maybe you should head over to lj to check it out now and then.
>
comment on something chris said, once, a VERY LONG TIME AGO.
i'll call you asshole if you want and you can call me asshole back. but that would be rude and forced. i guess what you said was correct, and still is. i think i feel much much more in secondary school. i place more importance on relationships, friendships, emotions. and i think i've become quite the sensitive. its very different from primary school. emotions are very deep now. AND THERENOTHINGYOUCANDOABOUTIT. its all part of scondary school life! but how would i know since you come from ikan bilis primary school and i come from fried rice primary school.
WHATEVALORX.
>
i'm going mad, trying to cheemify things[*flash flash* new word! new word!].
poetic flower sang its prose
@ 1:52 PM
No Such Thing
"Welcome to the real world", she said to me
Condescendingly
Take a seat
Take your life
Plot it out in black and white
Well I never lived the dreams of the prom kings
And the drama queens
I'd like to think the best of me
Is still hiding
Up my sleeve
They love to tell you
Stay inside the lines
But something's better
On the other side
I wanna run through the halls of my high school
I wanna scream at the
Top of my lungs
I just found out there's no such thing as the real world
Just a lie you've got to rise above
So the good boys and girls take the so called right track
Faded white hats
Grabbing credits
Maybe transfers
They read all the books but they can't find the answers
And all of our parents
They're getting older
I wonder if they've wished for anything better
While in their memories
Tiny tragedies
They love to tell you
Stay inside the lines
But something's better
On the other side
I wanna run through the halls of my high school
I wanna scream at the
Top of my lungs
I just found out there's no such thing as the real world
Just a lie you got to rise above
I am invincible(3x)
As long as I'm alive
I wanna run through the halls of my high school
I wanna scream at the
Top of my lungs
I just found out there's no such thing as the real world
Just a lie you've got to rise above
I just can't wait for my 10 year reunion
I'm gonna bust down the double doors
And when I stand on these tables before you
You will know what all this time was for
>
CC camp was fun... except for my great disability in handling string, paper, scissors and anything that has to do with handiwork. i realised that i have absolutely no talent in the use-your-hands sort of craft, because i always end up mucking it up. and i'll muck it up, thinking that i did the right thing, then i'll continue mucking it up until someone gently tells me that "You did it wrongly." Gently is the word, because if they said it any louder i think i'd burst into tears or something due to my failure to be able to make-something.
Chinese Knots are fun! only they really really really look really really really chinese. and like chris's mom said "very striking". it took me agesss to do the first know, because i was generally too impatient and just pulled at the string. but the second one was better. and nicer.
the talks! Oooo...... Yes 933 dj! i love her so much. she's so cool. every morning, when i get into the car, i'll turn on the radio and she's there and she'll tell me the time, and how the traffic is, and what songs they are going to play. she's so cool! and the newscaster person. dong suhua. she's cool. i could hve never guessed that she was from Nanyang [really, considering our chinese].
Paper cutting was fun. only my lack of creativity ended up in less-than-perfect paper cuttings that looked anything but nice and chinese-y.
games were ok. i revisited alot of cheng yu's that i had forgotten. and i think our class needs to be much more focused, like during the charades. i mean, i know its a game and all, but be more focused lah. then at least cammie would have gotten a vauge idea of what was going on. and that stupid teacher(s) wouldn't be laughing at us.
some VS pple came to look at us. they were very extra. but jason and bon ended up being their friends! how sweet.
>
math tuition. first lesson. AND I'M LOVIN' IT.
i just found out that math isn't all that hard after all. you just need to concentrate and concentrate and concentrate. and look out for common factors before going on to the (a-b)(a+b) / trial and error thing. and to change signs, you have to add a minus sign! most of it was taught by Mr Teo before, only i guess i work better in a smaller group. and it was freezing cold in the room. my nose was dripping. almost.
i think i like math tuition so much that i'm going to do my math tuition homework now, even though its due like, next saturday. then i'll go on the do history source-based. then science file, study science, study chinese tingxie, study chinese!
i'll list it anyway.
things to be done!
math tuition homework
history source-based
science file
study science
study chinese tingxie
study chinese
abortion assignment
print overdue ERP and CRP.
managable. in a day. i'll do history while watching tv.
poetic flower sang its prose
@ 1:36 PM
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one day, i'm sure it would be hard to let go. let go of all that i have here and go somewhere else, where i have nothing. but there, everything can happen. thats why i want to go. its an experience. many people are asking me "why do you have to go? why are you going?" and the best answer i can give is that i want to go. because i really really want to go. i know that i may come to regret it one day, that i'll hate myself for leaving behind all the relationships, the education, the friends, my family, to go to a place which i hardly know. I know that once i leave, i may never come back. i know that the people i leave behind might forget me, might detest me, might cry for me. i know that by going, i'm taking a really big risk. i'm putting my emotions, my future, my family on the line. but if i make it, everything will be good. thats why i'm going. because i want to make it. and hopefully i will.
lets get on to that "making-it" thing when i actually "make-it".
but if i go, if i really go, on that day, i don't want anyone to be at the airport sending me off. only my family, but no one else. because i'm afraid that i might change my mind if anyone else were there. if i go, don't be sad. don't be angry. be happy that i've finally gone away and you can at last have a great normal life without this freakish thing looming around you. be happy for me. and please don't cry. because i'll cry too and its not pretty. not pretty at all.
there's alot here that i don't want to let go of. someday, eventually, i will. and when that day comes, i'll take along the memories with me. i have a good memory so don't worry.
>
changed seating arrangement today... quite nice and funkAy. i like it :> it brings me nearer to the middle of the board where i can actually see straight. and then i can talk and the teachers can hear me *at last * ! and chris is sitting here and xian is sitting there and yinkee is suitable height. so i'm happy for now.
i realise that whenever i play badminton, i will always end up letting another person play. so i don't get to play after all. i'm not excatly disturbed by this. i want to play, yeah, but it won't be nice to go up to a person and ask her to let me play what. whatmore she's having a nice little time playing badminton. let them play lah. let them be happy. not like i'm not happy! i like watching. watching is nice, because you get to guess who will lose it. and i always guess wrong. and you get to go "whoa" when you see a good move or something. and i'm not good in badminton anyway, no use playing lah.
i think whenever i talk to mr teo, i always give him this look, and it makes him not want to talk to me anymore. its sort of weird, because i don't try to be rude or anything, but i guess its something that i radiate. then mr teo will go all wonky and not talk to me at all. i don't mind that.
theatre was great fun. great pain for my muscles. ow. half of it made me wince in pain. especially that dog pose or something. it almost broke my back ok...
>
homework list!
Math Algebra
History Source-based
Abortion Assignment
English Worksheet
TKAM- PBQ [which i have not recieved]
Science File
Study Chinese
Study Science
things which i have to attend
chinese culture camp
math tuition after that
going out with the other constituents of the salad on sunday.
poetic flower sang its prose
@ 8:49 PM
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there is rubbish on the floor. There is rubbish onthe computer tables.
there is a very smelly PE shrit left on the computer table.
I can't smell anything - I've got a blocked nose.
I just heard the bell. Usually i hear alot of people talking but now I only hear Mr Cheong talking. He talks so slowly like thissssss......
i hear Camilia sighing.
I touch this piece of paper. Its papery and has a paper-like texture. I also touch the table. Its generally made of plastic so there.
I am holding a pen in my hand. I would tell you the story behind the pen, only that now we're supposed to write a DESCRIPTIVE essay, not a narrative.
But someday I'll tell you. Perhaps when we get to do narratives or something.
Oh no. This is becoming all narrative-like. Lets get back to the DESCRIPTIVE essay.
I hear the Tim and Moby video playing in 211 / 213.
But i can' t taste anything. Air is tasteless, I suppose. Maybe it has a sort of tasteless taste but that would mean that I'm eating air.
If air was tasteless how would you know if you were eating air or not?
What if you never stop? Does air have calories?
I think I'm fat. Because I eat too much air.
above is a sample of a descriptive essay, done by Amanda Tan on the 1st of April. It clearly displays her literary skills and grasp of language, with ample descriptions of her classroom. Must note that she was in a very disorientated mood, and was currently not in the mood of writing a descriptive essay of her classroom. She was instead being bimbotic and decided to inject her own thoughts, Bridget Jones style.
>
i saw a very disturbing video today, making me feel disturbed. so i started snapping at people. i'm sorry to all those i snapped at today. ABORTION IS SO WRONG YOU FREAKS STOP DOING IT.
>
to be done by today or die horrible hellish death tomorrow:
crp
haww parr villaa
geog save the earth essay
i have given up on my:
math
history
poetic flower sang its prose
@ 9:59 PM
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today i had a wonderful day with my wonderful friends. sometimes i think that my friends are just so wonderful, that one day they'll over-wonderful me, thus overtaking me, and becoming the most wonderful-ous friends in the world. then, everyone would want to be friends with these wonderful friends, and they'll shun me, this wonderful-but-not-that-wonderful girl. when that happens, i think i'll go find myself some new friends. they might not be as wonderful as those extra-wonderful friends, but at least we're on par. then we can be wonderful in each other's eyes.
poetic flower sang its prose
@ 9:09 PM
....................
the notorious, blackmail-able walk walk video has finally landed in my hands! wahahah.
6 minutes and 3 seconds of joyful, happy, funny walkathon. starts off with us at school, waiting for bus... progresses to actual walking, and finally, the end! woo hoo!
>
cheong didn't come today. again. i am seriously suspecting that he really got the inflammation of scalp and hair follicles due to excessive use [leading to abuse] of hair gel. his hair has all fallen out and he will only return to school when his hair has grown back to a gel-able length. be-a-utiful. then, we can all drape scarfs over our heads like the one that girl in the pantene hair-loss advert did, and pretend to be afraid that our hair will drop out. talking about it, cheong could really use that pantene volume control shampoo thing. i have noticed that recently his hair has exploded to volumonous proportions. with volumcecontrol hair shampoo and conditioner, his hair's volume will, obviously,be controlled!
i remember last year for the eoys we did a cloze passage about wigs. wigs in the past were used to conceal baldness. some people also used it as a attractor and *ahemmmm* sex toy or something like that. i wonder if they sell tailored wigs. like those that are built on one person basis? then if mr cheong's hair [like i said] really falls all out, he can get his Specially Built For Mr Cheong wig that will look excatly like his present [or previous] hair. the one with the duck bill. the wet look. then he can come to school tomorrow without the risk of embarrassing himself, right?
>
theatre. did some stuff with extra-animated james tan, who is very good at probing and prompting questions to make us Familiar With The Text. Mr Tang, i don't know why, suddenly dragged his chair to sit next to me during the discussion 0.o
and he suddenly prodded me in the arm. he told me to go answer james tan's question. yar, so the girl felt betrayed lah. Mr Tang is so weird man. and he likes to diss TCHS pple.
tomorrow i have drama class with tang. hope i will stay as invisible and un-noticable as usual.
>
chris, i have a set of questions for you, which tests your How Well Do You Know Me. like we did this afternoon. and please, try not to take tt long to answer.
1) name 3 characteristics in people that Make Me Tick.
2) name the 3 teachers that i Don't Like Very Much.
3) name the 3 subjects that i Don't Like Very Much.
4) name 3 theatre club seniors of mine!
5) what is/are my favourite colour[s] and why?
so think about it. and you can set Your Own Questions too.
poetic flower sang its prose
@ 7:26 PM
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|
there was a ship titanic
that sailed the ocean blueeeeeee
they thought they built a ship
which no water could pass through
but the lord of mighty hands
knew the ship would never land
it was sad when the big ship went ddddddddddoooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwnnnnnnnnnnnnn
OH IT WAS SADDDD
OH IT WAS SADDDD
it was sad when the big ship
went down the the BOTTOOOOMMMM
with the husbands
and wives
and the children
lost their lives
it was SADDDD when the big ship
went DOWWWWWNNNNN
